Christmas Pics!

Dec 21, 2011, a set on Flickr.

Xmas Favorites

Christmas Jammies! Christmas Eve "dinner" Christmas breakfast Laughing so hard it hurts Family games! Watching movies "Remember when....." Birthday shopping!!

12.19.10

Has it really been a year?

"Three sleepless nights
This isn't how its supposed to be.
But you're so good at
taking your time to get back to me.

I will wait for you forever,
if you would just ask me.
I thought that I could change you
but you changed me.

It doesn't feel right,
holding someone else's hand.Together on phone lines,
and living at two opposite ends.

It scares me to think,
that you could find takers other than me
and better than me.

But your head is elsewhere,
and I’m talking enough for both of us.
When will you see it's not so easy for me
You’re careless, and whispered, insulting, and bruising.
(I fall from your eyes, your eyes I trusted)
And I thought that you said things were improving.
(I fall from your eyes, you said forever)
These laces are untied, (I fall from your eyes...)
but my feet are still walking away.
Away

I never thought that you could say these words.
Is this really happening?
I never thought that you could say these words. (Don't say...)
Is this really happening?
I never thought that you could say these words. (Don't say that we can...)
Is this really happening?
I never thought that you could say these words. (Don't say that we can still be...)
Is this really happening?
I never thought that you could say these words. (Don't say that we can still be friends)
Is this really happening?
Erase my name from this page.

How can you take all these days
(What is inside of me what have I done?)
and throw them away(Is this the only way that you will notice me?)
as I sit here waiting for you?
(Dead words for closed ears all this is sung for you)

I stay up nights
(If you are still pretending this is what's right)
until stars leave the sky
(Why can't you look at me can you only see?)
knowing what my dreams can take away
(One side, your side, can take away)
Walk away from me.
This night is done."
Emery - The Ponytail Parades

Chi Chis

Let's just take a minute to reflect on how awesome my boobs are. And might I say that they look especially good today.

Hello.

If in order to have one it means you cannot have the other, how then is it possible to want them both equally and simultaneously?

Logic fails me.

How do I choose?

Yes, or no?

Courage

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.  ~Winston Churchill


Sometimes the biggest act of courage is a small one.  ~Lauren Raffo


No one has yet computed how many imaginary triumphs are silently celebrated by people each year to keep up their courage.  ~Henry S. Haskins


Courage is never to let your actions be influenced by your fears.  ~Arthur Koestler

Monday

"Three Cheers For Five Years" - Mayday Parade

I swear that you don't have to go, I thought we could wait for the fireworks

I thought we could wait for the snow

To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt

I thought I could live in your arms and spend every moment I had with you

Stay up all night with the stars

Confess all the faith that I had in you (I had in you)

Too late, I'm sure, and lonely

Another night, another dream wasted on you

Just be here now, against me

You know the words, so sing along for me baby

For Heaven's sake, I know you're sorry, but you wont stop crying

This anniversary may never be the same

Inside I hope you know I'm dying, with my heart beside me, in shattered pieces that, may never be replaced

And if I died right now, you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart

Together would find us an opening

And moonlight would provide the spark

And that I would stumble across your key

Or break down the door to your heart

Forever could see us, not you and me

And you'd help me out of the dark

And I give my heart as an offering (An offering)

Too late, I'm sure, and lonely

Another night, another dream wasted on you

Just be, here now

Against me

You know the words, so sing along for me baby

For Heaven's sake, I know you're sorry, but you wont stop crying

This anniversary may never be the same

Inside I hope you know I'm dying, with my heart beside me, In shattered pieces that, may never be replaced

And if I died right now, you'd never be the same

And I... Will always... Remember you as, you are right now to me

And I... Will always... Remember you now, remember you now... 

Oh... 

So sleep alone tonight

With no one here just by your side

Sleep alone tonight

How does he feel? How does he kiss? 

How does he taste while he's on your lips? 

I can't forget you

I know you want me to want you, I want to

But I can't forget you

So when this is over, don't blow your composure, baby

I can't forget you

I know you want me to want you, I want to

But I can't forget you

So when this is over don't blow your composure, baby

I can't forget you... 

I know you want me to want you, I want to...

Winter Wonderland

Dear Sun,

     Please melt the snow on my driveway so that I won't have to shovel.

Love, Me

Xmas List

The things on my Christmas list aren't really things at all.
There is nothing on there that can really be given.

Creepy.

Clay Aiken is Martin Short's long lost son. I'm convinced.

 - 

18 days!

Is it Christmas yet??!!?! I finally finished all of my Christmas shopping and now I just want to give everyone their gifts!

Travel Plans

I have come to a realization. Really I guess it's more of an understanding. I don't want to be here but I don't know where I'm supposed to be instead. I'm looking for opportunities to take.

I believe without a doubt that Utah was where I was supposed to be from April 2008 until recently. But someplace that used to feel like home has suddenly become so foreign. I used to think that I would be happy living in this beautiful state forever. I still think that this state is beautiful and I will miss these mountains but I know I'm supposed to be somewhere else. Sometimes I feel like I belong anywhere but here. But I know now that it's not so much Utah that I'm running away from, but it's somewhere else that I'm traveling to. Utah was just a short stop on the way. I know that now.

I've fulfilled my purposes here and now the Lord has more for me to do elsewhere. And when He is ready to show me where He will open the doors necessary and guide me on to the next chapter.

It is my hope and prayer that everything falls into place sooner rather than later. I can't wait to see where I'll go next!

My>Dsmbr

Accident

Today marks the 1st anniversary of my 1st wreck.

What Gives?

I was so happy. I was the best version of me. Why take that away? What am I supposed to do now? Where do I find the courage to do it over again? 

Is it me?

God, if everyone else "knows best" does that make me an idiot? 

Yourhighwayhome

"Rolling In The Deep" cover.

Worth it?

Maybe one day I'll eventually feel the way I felt.

Moving Violation

Today marks the 7th anniversary of my first ticket. Also, Happy Thanksgiving.

112211

It's the stupid little things dorky me appreciates. Like the aesthetic properties of today's date.

Dreams

I just want to take pictures. Without time constraints. And willing participants.

>$200

I feel like I'm missing something. Like I'm waiting for something. And not the good waiting either. I remember what that was like and this is different. I guess I just feel like this deserves it's own "moment". But I also feel like I shouldn't romanticize it. It's times like these where I wish my life was a movie. There would be a whole scene devoted to it. Something would happen to mark the right time. When is the right time?

It's just a piece of jewelry. It means nothing to me now.

When can I wear it without caring what it meant?

111111

Once upon a time I would have been really excited for today's date.

Quote

"It's the simplest thing, a kiss. It's the doorway to everything else. Promise, hope, a future with someone." -Glee

Documentaries

I LOVE documentaries. I want to make a documentary. All I need is a topic. Any ideas?

Quote

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” -Neil Gaiman

Mainstay - October Came Late

I'm Afraid

It takes courage to confront someone and fear to compromise.

Haunted House

Everyone was right. This house is haunted. Just not in the traditional sense. It's haunted with memories.

Never Enough

When? When will it be enough? I've nothing left.

Question: How do you know a guy is only interested in getting in your pants?

Answer: He tells you how cute you look when you're clearly in the middle of moving with sweat on your neck, hair not done, in a casual t-shirt and old pants, yesterday's makeup and no jewelry... oh right, and he's married.

Creeper.

Conversation Piece

"We're talking about dicks and burritos." "Don't drink to get happy. Drink to get happier."

SafetySuit

Let The Memories Begin

Day 6 at Disney World and we've been going non stop! As much fun as I had here as a kid I definitely appreciate it more as an adult. In fact, I may even have more fun! 

It has been so rewarding to see my little brothers and sisters getting excited over the same things I used to get excited about. And let's be honest, still get excited about. 

Oh my humidity! The weather has been hot, hot, hot! 

So far my favorite ride is Tower of Terror. We rode it 9 times the other day. My favorite park is EPCOT. I love all of the new technology of Tomorrow Land and all of the rich culture in the World Showcase. I can't wait to go back tomorrow.

As  much fun as all of the rides and shows have been my absolute favorite part about this family vacation is all of the sentences that start "Hey, remember when..." and typically ends in laughter. I forget how many inside family jokes we have and how easy it is to make each other laugh. The last 6 days have been nonstop laughs as we joke and tease each other. Just yesterday my brother woke up to most of my name written on his arm in sharpie. It was pay back from when he tried to write his name on my back the day before but couldn't even get a whole letter written before I found him out. 

Lesson learned: big sisters pranks are always way better. 

The title of the blog is the sentence written on multiple flags, signs, and banners as you enter each park. And it is very fitting. These are the moments I'll never forget. 

Vacation

I am officially on vacation!

**special note**
Move to the Netherlands.

Babel

"I think it's a sin to be bilingual. God separated the languages for a reason." -Kelly Cross

Rosie Thomas

Rosie Thomas - "Death Came And Got Me"

Relient K

"This life can get so hard. This world can be so cruel.
Sometimes I fall apart. I feel just like a useless tool. 
Life, could you be a little softer to me?
Life, could you be more gentle to me?
Yeah, I know this is a selfish plea.
Because Christ sacrificed his flesh on the cross for me.
But this world is hard,
It's cruel and I wish it would be....
Softer
Softer
Softer
Softer to me."
-Relient K "Softer To Me"

Dust

Every time. Every fucking time.

It never fails. As soon as I find a reason to stay I'm given a reason to leave.
And just when I think there are more reasons to leave than stay I find another reason to stick around.

How the hell am I supposed to make the right decision with just as many pros as cons?

I'm tired of it! I'm tired of fighting and never winning.

I give up. I quit. It's not worth it.

Nowhere feels like home anymore.

Everything I touch turns to dust.

Repetition

I'm doing it again.

It's A Small World

I just bought a plane ticket to Orlando so I can go to Disney World with my family!!

Now to work really hard at saving money.......

Taco Joint

Taco joint!!

Your New Favorite Band

Check out what I've been up to lately! My friend Kenn and I have started a "band". So far we're only doing covers and one original song that I wrote. I play piano and sing and he plays guitar. We're doing our first show on August 19th at the Grounds For Coffee in Roy. So come out and show your support! Below is a copy of our flyer.

Losing

Why can't I ever win?

Friends

I really do have amazing friends who care for me deeply and demonstrate that often. It's not that I doubted that fact before; it's just that I've recently been reminded.

The friends that stick around are the true friends. The ones that keep trying to be your friend even when you're in a bad mood or feeling down for whatever reason.

A true friend says "you're being onery today. When I get home from work I want happy Christian back."

A true friend comes to your car to walk you in when you're nervous and apprehensive and even a little scared and sad.

A true friend doesn't say "your friendship means everything to me" or "I will always be your friend" and then stop trying. Even when you push them away out of sadness and despair, a true friend who meant what he said would have kept trying to be a friend instead of giving up.

Letters I'll Never Send

I love this website. I don't know why. I've submitted 2 letters myself. Check it out sometime.

LettersIllNeverSend.com

Yellowcard

Imogen Heap

1/2 Birthday

Happy 1/2 Birthday to me! :)

Roommates

Roommates: Can't live with them - Can't pay the rent without them!

That 70's Show

Season 4 Episode 1 and 2

Exactly.

Kid History

Quote

"Even the people who never frown eventually break down." -Linkin Park

"For where your treasure is...."

"For where your treasure is....", a set on Flickr.